Eternally Alone
by AlwaysNotUpdating
Summary: Macavity's story on why he left the Jellicles. It's written in his point of view. Please read and review! Rated T because I like to be safe.


**A/N: I wrote this awhile ago so there may be a few mistakes!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except for a few pieces off ABC gum.**

I was nervous and excited as I remembered what day it was. It was the initiation day, the day that decided my future. Deuteronomy, my father would be choosing the next protector of the tribe since he was taking up the position of leader. It was to be between his three sons. Munkustrap, my oldest brother, was bossy and idiotic at best but comparable to my other brother. The Rum Tum Tugger, my other brother was quite a nerd and was teased relentlessly by the older toms. I was the youngest, but the most popular among the tribe and I had magic.

Before the ceremony when one of us was to be chosen I approached Father, "Father who will you be choosing tonight?"

"You know the rules Macavity. I am not allowed to say until the ceremony", he replied without break from his meditating. I nodded accepting his answer. Traditionally, the eldest son is always chosen no matter what, but I was hoping my father would not be so traditional. Tugger was entirely out of the picture though, for his idiocy.

Finally night came and the ceremony began with everyone greeting each other. Two kittens, Demeter and Bombalurina step towards me and smile seductively. It was well-known that Bombalurina lusted after every tom in the Junkyard even Tugger, the reject. Demeter had something with me though. She always looked at me with deep penetrating eyes that made me feel weak and vulnerable.

At the end of the feast, Deuteronomy stood and announced, "I have chosen one of my sons to replace me as Protector of the Jellicle Tribe."

My ears perked up immediately as I turned my head towards the front of the Junkyard. Deuteronomy smiled happily and shouted, "I am pleased to say, that I have chosen my eldest son, Munkustrap!"

I half-smiled as I heard the death sentence. The harsh words rang in my ears, bouncing around in my head until my brain snapped. My eyes must have been blazing in anger because Demeter came over next to me and whispered, "Don't be angry, Mac."

Shifting out of her embrace, I stalked to my den leaving the celebrating Jellicle to their partying. A knock came from the entrance and Deuteronomy stepped in with grace and ease. I snarled viciously at him while he hugged me against his body.

"Macavity, you know that I could not have chosen you. You're too young to have such a severe task placed on your shoulders", he said blankly waiting for my response. I tightened my muscles and hissed, "I wanted it though."

"No, Macavity, if only you could understand", he whispered. That did it, his comforting words were not comforting at all. It did the opposite really, they provoked me into pushing him away from me and yelling, "You just didn't want to be the one to break it!"

His expression was a confused one as he asked, "Break what?"

"Break tradition", I spat. He shook his head as if that wasn't the reason why he had chosen my idiot brother. Deuteronomy said, "It had nothing to do with tradition, Mac, I hope you will understand this one day."

"No, I hope you understand one day", I hissed and walked out of my den to leave the tribe. At that moment, Munkustrap came over to me grinning like the fool he was and said, "No bad feelings, Mac."

That began to stoke my fire of hatred, one that would burn for the rest of my life. I turned to him and pounced without even taking a moment to assess his position. The tackle caught him completely off guard and I took the upper hand in the fight. We began to grapple blindly at each other trying to throw the other off. Munkustrap choked out, "No, Mac, stop it!"

"I hate you! You're stupid and you don't deserve to be protector of the tribe! You're despicable, atrocious, idiotic, and foolish and you're a Pollicle", I screamed angrily at his flailing body. The hate and rage poured through my blood and my vision turned pure red so that everything looked bloody. I couldn't tell what was bloody and what wasn't until I saw a pool of liquid pour down from a wound I inflicted on his head.

I fled the scene of the crime before and Jellicles appeared to witness the destruction I had wreaked upon Munkustrap. There was only one safe haven for me now and it was my hideout in the back alley. My vision never returned to being normal and forever the world looked bloody to me.

The rage I felt had cooled down a little, but not enough for me to actually return and apologize. The tribe was doomed now, with Munkustrap as their protector as I had proved what a weakling he was. I had secretly been learning dark magic for months now, but none of the Jellicles knew, so it didn't matter much. My mentor in dark magic was waiting for me at the hideout.

"Have you returned to learn more?" he asked calmly. I nodded my head and spat out, "I want you to teach me everything."

Without even explaining, my mentor somehow knew what had happened, which was one of my favorite things about him. I was an avid learner always, but now I had a reason, a drive for success. I wanted to destroy Munkustrap, the Jellicle tribe and everything they cared about.

Two days later, Demeter had found me in my hideout. She asked in a scared tone, "Did you really attack Munkustrap?"

"What? Where did you hear that from?" I lied to her.

"Then why are you staying here?" she asked. My eyes must have betrayed me again because she gasped and cried, "You did it, didn't you, Mac?"

I winced and cried passionately, "I didn't mean to attack him like that. There was something inside me that drove me to insanity."

Demeter automatically backed away with terror in her dark eyes. My mentor entered the room at that moment causing Demeter to scream, "Who is that?"

"Leave, Dem, leave and never return", I whispered to her. She took my advice and fled for her life. I felt self-hate rising up inside me and my mentor said, "Let it out, use magic as your outlet."

Allowing magic to flow through my mind and body immediately gave me relief. I shot lightning bolts every which way and forgot everything. It was similar to being drunk, but I was simply drunk with power and magic. My mentor smiled and said, "Good, don't bottle up your emotions, just let it all out."

My descent into darkness and destruction was smooth, but other Jellicles were horrified by the discovery and gave up on me altogether. The memory of the night that I had NOT been chosen always returned to me. I wanted the Jellicles to fear my name and I wanted them to regret the day they chose Munkustrap over me. A few of my memories were lost, but my mentor assured me that it was normal.

One day, I surprised the Jellicles by visiting them in their "safe" Junkyard. Munkustrap stood with his arms wide trying vainly to protect his pitiful tribe. I laughed evilly and everyone was surprised. Jumping down from the rocking chair Munkustrap asked, "Who are you?"

He had changed from the last time I had seen him. Munkustrap was more mature and stronger, but no match for me. His question caught me by surprise causing me to ask myself: Did I really change that much?"

The reflection in his eyes was that of a tall ginger cat with a white lightning stripe down his chest. The cat had black eyes that were devoid of emotion, I was the epitome of evil and despair. I replied, "Who do you think I am?"

My metallic voice rang through the Junkyard causing them to cover their ears. Munkustrap stood even taller and yelled, "If you aren't a friend, then please leave!"

"You'd throw out a fellow Jellicle?" I pretended to be injured by the thought. The whole tribe was alert now wondering who I was. Searching the crowd, I finally found Demeter, who was glaring at me intently. Her eyes widened as our eyes met and I was sure she knew my identity.

"Macavity", she whispered. Munkustrap's eyes widened in turn as did every other Jellicle's .

"Is it really you?" Munkustrap asked with disbelief. I laughed terribly and said, "I am Macavity."

He looked at me with disgust and said, "Have you come to be accepted into the tribe again?"

"No, I've come here to destroy you!"

With that I let loose a thunder bolt that missed him by inches. Demeter stood in front of him protectively and pleaded, "Don't Mac, I know there's still a shred of the Mac I knew here."

"I believe you're mistaken", I rasped and threw a magic bolt straight at her chest. It hit her squarely and she flew into Munkustrap creating a domino effect. All of the Jellicles began to swipe at me fearlessly, I'd teach them what fear really meant. Sending all my rage and power into my magic I lunged towards Demeter and slashed her side viciously with my claws.

I then bit into Munkustrap's paw and when blood filled my mouth, my senses were heightened to a new level. My vision blurred then intensified and I leapt onto his back. It seemed like a déjà vu to both Munkustrap and I. He had no chance in beating me, but soon other Jellicles helped him and I was injured pretty badly. So I fled the scene again, but not before screaming, "I will end all of your lives one day. First you Demeter and then Munkustrap, then Deuteronomy and all the rest of you too!"

Years blended with each other and I completely lost track of time. I attacked the Junkyard persistently each year, but to no avail. Demeter became jumpy every time the sirens sounded. The Everlasting Cat whispered to me one day, "Today is your last day. Use your time wisely."

Cheating death was not one of my top priorities and I decided that it was time for me to destroy the Junkyard for once and for all. Munkustrap still protected the tribe stubbornly and hissed at me. I felt my legs wobbling as death came to meet me. I randomly grabbed a kitten and pinned her against a wall threatening to kill her if someone stepped forward.

As I stared into her dark eyes I was reminded of Demeter. My head flashed immediately to her and when I saw her worried expression, I knew this was her kitten. It was the daughter of Demeter and Munkustrap that was all I was sure of. Even though my love for Demeter had long since passed, I could not help but feel a pang of jealousy crawl into my heart.

The ever burning fury was beginning again and I said, "I will die today, not having accomplished my mission in taking over the Junkyard. That is too cheap a price for you to pay, so I will take this kitten with me."

As I raised a paw to kill her, Demeter grabbed my paw and swung me around. Munkustrap raised a paw to stun me, but he realized I was too weak to do anything more. I lay in the Junkyard until my death. During those few last moments I realized that a life full of hate and bitterness was truly not a good one. It had taken its toll and I was alone with no one to grieve for me.

I am Macavity and I am eternally alone.

**If you're reading this sentence, then please review! It means that you actually read my whole story. Please?**


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